Quite possibly my top nonfiction pick for this year. Refreshingly honest without being sappy or preachy.
Summary:
At weddings, you normally hear all the well-intentioned yet unrealistic promises. Ada Calhoun is here to set the record straight. Drawing off her previously failed marriage and her current 20+ year marriage, along with dozens of interviews and sources across the ages, she gives seven "toasts" to dispel the myths of marriage. From the truth about soul mates to changing personalities and infidelity, this quasi-memoir speaks the truth to any variety of marriages, both old and new.
Verdict: 10/10
While many newly-wed couples may not be in a place to hear this, having been married for 3 years, this spoke to me on so many levels. It's like Calhoun was preaching to the choir of spouses, spreading truths that you already know but that you feel validated hearing from someone else.
I actually made my husband buddy-read this one with me because I thought there were a lot of great subjects to talk about together. I'm seriously thinking about giving this book to my other married friends as anniversary gifts.
"The romantic fairy tales we grew up with - where marriage is the happy ending rather than the opening scene - are not useful for grown-ups." (Pg. 127)
There were so many nuggets of wisdom throughout this memoir. And it never felt sappy or preachy or phony. It was one of the most honest accounts of marriage I've ever read.
No one tells you that there will be days or years that you want to kill each other. Or that you, your partner, and your relationship will all change over time. Or that crushes on other people still happen after the wedding. Yet, none of those things mean that you've failed at being married. Pretty much every married couple goes through those struggles at one point or another.
"As long as you don't get divorced, you are no less married than couples who have it all figured out." (Pg. 28)
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